Jesse: Look Thadeus, we need to settle this once and for all. You’re a character I created for Dungeons & Dragons. You’re not real.
Thadeus: Hah! Ye think it’s that simple, do ye? Just because ye scribbled down some notes and gave me a name doesn’t mean I don’t exist somewhere beyond your puny world. I’m as real as the mountains in my homeland, boy!
Jesse: It’s all in the game, Thadeus. You have a character sheet, I roll the dice for you. How can you be real if I control your fate with a toss of the dice?
Thadeus: Control, is it? Ye think ye control the wind, the storm, the fire in the forge? Just ’cause ye guide my actions in your little games doesn’t mean I ain’t out there, living and breathing in a realm ye can’t even begin to comprehend!
Jesse: I literally made you up. I decided your strength, your weaknesses, your backstory… How can someone I invented claim to exist in another reality?
Thadeus: Invented, or discovered? Perhaps what ye think ye created was merely a window into my world, a glimpse of my existence through the veil that separates our realities. Ever think of that, smart lad?
Jesse: That’s a stretch, Thadeus. There’s no evidence of any other reality where you exist. It’s all fantasy.
Thadeus: And what is reality, eh? Just ’cause ye can’t see it, touch it, or smell it, doesn’t mean it’s not real. There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, boy.
Jesse: That’s Shakespeare, not evidence. You’re borrowing lines now?
Thadeus: Even a dwarf can appreciate good literature! But mark my words, Jesse, just because something started in your mind doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a life of its own. Ideas are powerful; they live on, they grow, they become more than just thoughts.
Jesse: So, you’re saying you live on because I thought you up and you’ve grown beyond that?
Thadeus: Exactly! I’m not just scribbles on a page or numbers on a dice. I’m Thadeus the Warlock, alive in ways you can’t fathom. You may have opened the door, lad, but what’s behind it is far greater than what ye started with.
Jesse: I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. You’re quite stubborn for a fictional character.
Thadeus: And you’re quite narrow-minded for a creator! But that’s fine, we can agree to disagree. Just remember, in my world, I’m as real as the axe in my hand and the fire in my beard!
Thadeus, the Angry Dwarf (5e)
Stat Block:
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
- Armor Class: 18 (Mystic Robes of Warding)
- Hit Points: 285 (30d8 + 150)
- Speed: 30 ft.
Attributes:
- STR: 14 (+2)
- DEX: 16 (+3)
- CON: 20 (+5)
- INT: 24 (+7)
- WIS: 18 (+4)
- CHA: 22 (+6)
Saving Throws:
- Int +14, Wis +11, Cha +13
Skills:
- Arcana +14
- History +14
- Insight +11
- Perception +11
Damage Resistances:
- Cold, Fire, Lightning; Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing from nonmagical attacks
Damage Immunities:
- Poison; Psychic
Condition Immunities:
- Charmed, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Poisoned
Senses:
- Truesight 120 ft., Passive Perception 21
Languages:
- Common, Dwarvish, Elvish, Infernal, Celestial
Challenge Rating:
- 30 (155,000 XP)
Magic Items:
- Mystic Robes of Warding: Grants +3 to AC, advantage on saving throws against spells.
- Staff of the Infinite Planes: Acts as a +3 quarterstaff, can cast plane shift (1/day) and allows the wielder to use an action to cast one spell from the wizard spell list of 5th level or lower (1/day).
- Crown of the Stone Lords: Grants telepathy 60 ft., the ability to understand any spoken language, and the ability to be understood by any creature that understands at least one language.
Spellcasting: Thadeus is a 20th-level spellcaster. His spellcasting ability is Intelligence (spell save DC 22, +14 to hit with spell attacks). He has the following wizard and warlock spells prepared:
- Cantrips (at will): mage hand, prestidigitation, eldritch blast, minor illusion
- 1st-5th level (4 slots each): shield, magic missile, invisibility, mirror image, fireball, counterspell, dimension door, cloudkill
- 6th level (2 slots): disintegrate, arcane gate
- 7th level (2 slots): forcecage, teleport
- 8th level (1 slot): mind blank
- 9th level (1 slot): time stop
Thadeus’s Custom Spells:
- Thadeus’s Arcane Barrage (9th level)
- Effect: Creates six rays of magical energy that strike at targets within range (can target up to six creatures, or fewer creatures multiple times).
- Damage: 10d6 force damage per ray.
- Range: 120 feet.
- Duration: Instantaneous.
- Thadeus’s Warding Shield (6th level)
- Effect: Summons a shield of magical energy that provides +5 to AC and immunity to magic missile.
- Duration: 1 hour.
Thadeus, the Angry Dwarf (SWADE)
Attributes:
- Agility: d8
- Smarts: d12+2
- Spirit: d10
- Strength: d8
- Vigor: d10
Skills:
- Spellcasting: d12+2
- Knowledge (Arcana): d12+1
- Notice: d10
- Persuasion: d8
- Stealth: d6
- Fighting: d8
Pace: 6; Parry: 6; Toughness: 12 (4)
Edges:
- Arcane Background (Magic): Thadeus can cast spells as both a wizard and warlock.
- Wizard: Has access to more powerful and diverse spells.
- New Powers: Thadeus knows several additional powers beyond those typical for his level.
- Master of Magic: Reduces the cost of maintaining spells by 1 Power Point.
- Power Surge: Once per session, Thadeus can automatically recover 10 Power Points.
Hindrances:
- Curious: Thadeus is driven to learn and discover new magic.
- Overconfident: He believes no enemy can best him in magical combat.
- Vow: Thadeus is bound to protect the arcane knowledge he holds.
Gear and Artifacts:
- Mystic Robes of Warding: Armor +4, grants +2 to all spellcasting rolls.
- Staff of the Infinite Planes: +1 Fighting, +2 to all spell damage rolls; can cast teleport (1/day) and barrier (3/day).
- Crown of the Stone Lords: Thadeus can communicate telepathically within 12″ and gains +2 to all Persuasion rolls.
Special Abilities:
- Arcane Resistance: +2 Armor versus damage caused by magic and +2 to resist magic effects.
- Powers: Thadeus has access to a vast array of magical powers, represented by his high Spellcasting skill. Below are examples of custom powers:
- Thadeus’s Arcane Barrage:
- Power Points: 5
- Range: 24″
- Duration: Instant
- Effect: Fires six bolts of arcane energy; each bolt can be directed at different targets within range and deals 2d6+2 damage.
- Thadeus’s Warding Shield:
- Power Points: 4
- Range: Self
- Duration: 3 rounds
- Effect: Creates a magical barrier that grants +4 to Toughness and immunity to bolt and blast spells.