Ah, so you’ve got the guts to inquire about the Deck of Cataclysmic Whimsy, do ya? Well, strap in, because this isn’t your grandmother’s tarot deck. This little collection of cards is about as friendly as a dragon with a toothache, and twice as deadly. Crafted in the dark ages by a bunch of madcap wizards who thought it’d be a lark to trap the essence of chaos in some fancy bits of parchment, this deck is a nightmare wrapped in a riddle, smothered in secret sauce.
Each card is a gamble, a roll of the dice against the universe itself, where you’re just as likely to end up a toad as you are to gain the strength of ten men. And that’s on a good day. The symbols on these cards? Might as well be doodles by the gods, mocking the folly of mortals who think they can harness such power without ending up as part of the landscape.
I’ve come across a lot in my travels—goblins, trolls, even a lich or two—but nothing gave me pause quite like the Deck of Cataclysmic Whimsy. Found it in a place that made the hairs on the back of my neck do a jig. It was just sitting there, humming with power, like it was waiting for some daft sod to try their luck. My staff, old and gnarled as it is, practically vibrated with a warning. Or maybe it was laughing. Hard to tell with magical artifacts.
To hold the deck is to flirt with disaster. It’s a power so raw, so untamed, it makes the wildest magic look like a parlor trick. You want riches, glory, power? Sure, the deck might give it to you. But it’s just as likely to turn your ambitions inside out, leaving you wishing you’d never been born. It’s not picky. Kings and beggars, it’ll chew you up just the same.
So, you think you’re the one, eh? The hero who’ll master the deck, bend its will to yours? Don’t make me laugh. The Deck of Cataclysmic Whimsy doesn’t bow, doesn’t serve. It capers on the edge of reality, doling out fate and misfortune with the same whimsical indifference. It’s a cosmic jester, playing jokes that can span millennia.
Consider yourself warned. This ain’t a toy for the naive or the greedy. It’s a relic of sheer, unbridled chaos, a reminder that for all our spells and swords, we’re just playthings on the board of the universe. But hey, if you’ve got the stones for it, who am I to stop you? Just remember, when everything goes sideways, and it will, you were the one asking for it.
Deck of Cataclysmic Whimsy (5e)
Type: Wondrous Item, Legendary
Description: This deck contains 22 cards. Once per day, a player may draw a card at random from the deck and suffer or enjoy its effects. Drawing a card is an action. Once a card’s effect is activated, it vanishes from existence, and the deck magically replenishes with a new card taking its place at dawn.
Usage: The player declares they are drawing a card and does so at random. The DM interprets the effects based on the drawing below. If the deck is depleted of cards before dawn, it remains empty until the next dawn.
- The Fool: Lose all your possessions. They vanish, appearing in the most inconvenient location the DM can think of.
- The Magician: Gain a random uncommon magic item.
- The High Priestess: Gain the benefit of a sanctuary spell for 24 hours.
- The Empress: Immediately gain 25,000 XP. If this would level you up, it does not trigger any disadvantages of leveling up in a dangerous area.
- The Emperor: A powerful demon becomes obsessed with your demise. It will not rest until you or it is dead.
- The Hierophant: Gain the ability to cast zone of truth once per long rest, without expending a spell slot.
- The Lovers: The nearest two creatures to you become charmed by you for 1 hour, as if you’d cast charm person at them.
- The Chariot: Gain a spectral mount, which has the same stats as a warhorse, but it can fly. Lasts for 24 hours.
- Strength: Permanently increase your Strength score by 1, up to a maximum of 20.
- The Hermit: You are teleported to a random safe location on the same plane of existence.
- Wheel of Fortune: Roll a d100. 1-50, you lose half your gold. 51-100, you double your gold.
- Justice: You are compelled to confess to any lies you have told in the past month.
- The Hanged Man: You are paralyzed for 1d4 hours.
- Death: You must succeed on a DC 18 Constitution saving throw or drop to 0 hit points.
- Temperance: Cure all diseases and poisons affecting you. Gain immunity to poison and disease for the next 24 hours.
- The Devil: You are cursed. While cursed in this way, you have disadvantage on all ability checks and saving throws.
- The Tower: Your current location becomes the target of a meteor swarm spell.
- The Star: Learn one fact of your choice about the world, which is true.
- The Moon: You are afflicted with lycanthropy of the DM’s choice.
- The Sun: Immediately gain the benefit of a greater restoration spell.
- Judgement: All creatures within 30 feet of you must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. On a failure, they take 6d10 necrotic damage. On a success, they take half as much damage.
- The World: You can ask the DM one question and get a truthful answer.
Deck of Cataclysmic Whimsy
Type: Legendary Artifact
Description: This mystical deck contains 22 unique cards, each with its own unpredictable effect. A character can draw a card as an action. Once drawn, the card’s effect is immediate, and the card disappears. The deck replenishes at sunrise.
Activation: Drawing a card is an action. The effects are immediate, and the Game Master (GM) determines the outcomes.
- The Fool: Lose all your gear. It teleports to an unknown location.
- The Magician: Find a random beneficial gadget.
- The High Priestess: You’re under the effect of a Deflection power for 24 hours.
- The Empress: Gain an Advance.
- The Emperor: A formidable enemy targets you for death.
- The Hierophant: Gain a truth serum that works once.
- The Lovers: Two nearest NPCs become helpful allies for a short time.
- The Chariot: Receive a flying mount for 24 hours.
- Strength: Increase Strength die type by one step for 24 hours.
- The Hermit: Teleport to a safe location.
- Wheel of Fortune: Roll a d100. Low roll, lose half your wealth; high roll, double your wealth.
- Justice: Truth compulsion for 24 hours.
- The Hanged Man: Paralyzed for an uncertain time.
- Death: Make a Vigor roll or be Incapacitated.
- Temperance: Heal all wounds and become immune to poison and disease for 24 hours.
- The Devil: Cursed, suffering a penalty to all trait rolls.
- The Tower: Your location is struck by a catastrophic event.
- The Star: Gain a clue or piece of information.
- The Moon: Afflicted with a curse or transformation.
- The Sun: Fully healed and rejuvenated.
- Judgement: Area attack, damaging those around you.
- The World: Gain a truthful answer from the GM.