Thadeus: Grunt So, it’s your birthday, Jahn. What’s a clay golem like you doing in Cornell of all places?
Jahn: Ah, Thadeus, my friend. Cornell is a land of ancient secrets, and I’ve been here since its inception. It’s a day of celebration, indeed.
Thadeus: Pfft Celebrating what? Being a pile of walking, talking mud for another year?
Jahn: Now, Thadeus, Cornell has taught me the value of time. Each year adds to my wisdom, just as it does to the rolling hills and deep valleys of Cornell.
Thadeus: Bah, wisdom. I bet the hills don’t jabber as much as you do about Cornell.
Jahn: Chuckles Perhaps not. But these hills have seen empires rise and fall. Cornell’s history is etched in every grain of my being.
Thadeus: Hmph, empires, schmempires. All I see is a land that can’t decide if it’s more dirt or grass.
Jahn: You jest, but Cornell’s land is rich with stories. Every stream and stone here whispers tales of old.
Thadeus: Whispers? More like bores anyone who listens to sleep. Grunt So, what does an ancient clay golem do for fun on his birthday?
Jahn: I like to wander the ancient forests of Cornell, reminiscing the days of yore, and sometimes, I talk to the old trees. They are great listeners.
Thadeus: Talk to trees, huh? Dumbass trees if they find your Cornell stories interesting.
Jahn: Laughs Thadeus, your words are harsh, but your presence here is a gift. Not everyone can boast a birthday chat with Thadeus the Angry Dwarf.
Thadeus: Sigh Yeah, yeah. Don’t get mushy on me. So, any birthday wishes, Clayface?
Jahn: Just to continue guarding and being part of Cornell. It’s my purpose, my home.
Thadeus: Guarding dirt and grass, what a life! But, I guess someone’s gotta do it. Grunt Happy Birthday, Jahn.
Jahn: Thank you, Thadeus. Your company is a rare and valued treasure in Cornell.
Thadeus: Pfft, don’t get used to it. I’m here for the free ale. Now, where’s the party at?
Magic Birthday Cake
5e D&D Stats:
- Item Type: Wondrous item, rare
- Description: This beautifully decorated cake is infused with magical energies. It can feed up to 12 people.
- Magic Properties:
- Wishful Eating: Once per year, a creature that eats a slice of this cake can make a wish (similar to the Wish spell, but with limitations). The wish must be made within 1 minute of eating.
- Birthday Blessing: Eating a slice grants a +2 bonus to all saving throws for 24 hours.
- Joyful Aura: While in possession of the cake, the holder exudes a palpable aura of joy, granting advantage on Charisma (Persuasion) checks when interacting with friendly or neutral creatures.
- Activation: Eating a slice.
- Attunement: Not required.
SWADE Stats:
- Item Type: Magical item
- Description: A cake imbued with mystical energies, decorated with colorful icing and tiny arcane symbols.
- Powers:
- Grant Wish: As an action, a character who eats a piece of the cake may make a wish. This functions like the Miracle power but with GM’s discretion for balance.
- Bolster Spirit: Eating a slice of the cake gives the character +2 on Spirit rolls for the next 24 hours.
- Aura of Happiness: While carrying the cake, the character gains a +2 bonus to Persuasion rolls due to the infectious happiness the cake radiates.
- Activation: Consuming a piece of the cake.
- Notes: Can be used once per year.